It was Thursday night around 9pm. I went to this club, not knowing a single person there. I was lonely at home so I wanted to go out and and have fun. Sad thing is, that's not what happened. I had a couple drinks that I knew I couldn't handle from the start but I was really stressed. I was there for a long time because I wasn't strong enough to walk; even with a couple guys trying to help me, I rejected. I was lucky they didn't  try to steal my stuff but at the same time, they were annoying cause I could hardly see! I was finally stable enough to get up on my on so I went outside and sat on a bench and felt the breeze. I left my car in some parking lot and I began to walk home. Some guy was by my side as I was walking trying to give me a ride. I had to tell him a couple times that I was fine before he diverged to a lonely road. When I got home, I threw myself on the bed. Laying on my stomach and looking at the ceiling, a saw a light flash. There was a big bang on the door and it made me realize I didn't lock the door. "He" called and said

"Is anyone in there!?" He got no answer because I was in total shock. He slowly opened the door to see my big eyes looking confused at him. "Hi There." He shut the door and started making his way over to me. I hopped of the bed swiftly and tried to run to the bathroom. He grabbed my arm and asked me where I was going. I just stared at him like he was stupid! "Lay Down!" he demanded. I got loose of his tight grip and slapped him on the face. "See now, Was that necessary? It's okay though. you'll make it up to me!" he licked his lips and pushed me on the bed. "the freak are you doing!?" I was so impatient and confused. "Be Quiet!"

He raped me.

I woke up around 11 : 40. I tried to figure out what happened. I jumped up to go to the bathroom; I was close to puking on the floor. When I came out, I passed my desk and to my surprise, I saw a wrapper in the trash. I gasped then backed away from the trash sitting on the edge of my bed. Putting my head in my hands, I cried! "what the hell was I thinking" was all I thought about.

I went to my closet to find what I was going to wear, then hopped in the shower. My mom and dad tried to call me when I was in the shower, but I seen their call and didn't call back so that left them worried. Grabbing my keys off the desk, I started walking back to the parking to get me car. It was there with two others cars but I had to examine it and make sure there weren't any dents or anything. Opened up the door, got in and sped off. I went to this park that was like 40 minutes away from my area. My phone was blowing up because today was the day I was suppose to go out to dinner with my mom, dad, sister, and step brother. I couldn't buy time because I had too much on my mind; I had to get out of here! I needed to go back to my house, pack up some stuff and go stay at a hotel.

When I arrived home, my friends Tanisha and Amina were there and of course they had worry all over their face. "Annie, where the hell you been?" Mina fired at me. "It would be best if y'all just leave. I'm about to leave anyway. "And just where the hell do you think your going?" Tanisha added. "Somewhere your not!" I said smartly.

Amina : "you know what, I've had enough of your shit! You can't answer your phone and now that we finally have you, your acting an ass? You got your parents worried sick! So do me a favor, stop being so DUMB and CALL YOUR MOTHER!" And with that being said, she stormed out and left and sad looking Tanisha behind.

Tanisha : "You know she's right Annie. Please get some help!" she wiped the tears that were rolling down her face and closed the door.

I sat there thinking. This was too much for me to handle right now. If I tell my mom, she's going to disown me and want nothing to do with me. And if I tell my dad, he's going to give me a lecture. I'm so confused. I think for a moment then I start praying.

  "Dear Lord, you know my weaknesses. I really need an answer from you before I talk this out with my parents. I think I'm crazy. Whatever is in your will, PLEASE let me know Father, Amen!"

My mom swung open the door. "Hi Mom" I said looking down. "Its about ti.." "Mom, just stop!" I cut her off. "I'm about to explain myself before I let you two talk. But if you want to interupt me, I will just leave. I don't have time for you to fuss at me; this is something serious." She looked down because she was sorry for hopping on my back. 

"SPEAK!" my father told me loudly.

"You know what! I've HAD it with people demanding me and shit! I will speak! I  don't NEED you to tell me what to do!" 

"What are you talking about, DEMANDING? my mom interrupted. "I WAS RAPED!!" I spit it out like seeds (lol.) 

"YOU WERE WHAT!" by this time, my dad was furious. 

"Who was it baby?" my mom pulled my arm and begin to cry. "I went to this party, I had too many drinks, this guy followed me home, I forgot to lock the door, He came in, I tried to run & but he pulled me and raped me!"

"Let's Go" my dad  said stubbornly. "Where are we going?" 

"Never mind that.."   

"I'm calling the police first" my mom said.

After everything was settled, I laid in the guest room at my mom and dad's house because I was extremely tired. My mom suggested that I stay with them for a while because all she does is worry. I told her that wasn't necessary; I would just stay for the night and go back home tomorrow.
It was starting to get dark when I laid in the bed with my knees to my face. What more could I be doing? I was thinking. The way my life was headed, it wasn't a good look.
"Hey Scoots. How are you? Your dinner is in the oven when you want to eat." I thanked my mom and she shut the door. I hopped up to see who was in the living room beause I heard alot of voices; I put my ear to he door.
"I really don't know what's gotten into her. I really hope she's not using drugs or anything out of the ordinary!" a familiar voice said.                

"No I don't think it's that. I think she's lonely. I mean, she works six days a week, comes home and does nothing. She hardly goes out. But I think I have an idea! We'll discuss this another time though. I don't want to cause offence to anyone right now." (Aunt Nette said)

"Well you know we always call, well at least try to call her, but she stray's away.." my dad said. I had enough of this rubbish; I opened my door, went to the bathroom then into the leaving room. "Oh Hi!" I said to my two aunts. "What's up Love?" Aunt Nette said ;).

 "Oh nothing, just going to get my dinner and I just woke up from a nap. how you?"

"Better than you'll ever be" my aunt Trishan said harshly. I sat the plate back on the counter and made my way to the living room. 

"And what's that suppose to mean?"

"You would know." said rolling with the eyes. Few seconds later, she felt very guilty.  I didn't really mean it like that." 

"Yeah Whatever. When are YOU leaving?"  

"As soon as I'm ready to!" she snapped again.  

"Well i hope its soon cause I can't stand your presence! MOM! where are you?" I called ever so loudly! 

"I'm up here! i'll be down in  a minute." Then I turned back around facing my aunt Trishan "...and secondly, no one was talking to you!" She just rolled her eyes.

"Alright, it was nice seeing y'all. Be Safe." my dad said letting them out.  "Where you going?" my mom asked.

 "I'm sleepy, I'm going to bed."

"We need to say prayers first if you don't mind."

"Dear Heavenly Father! Forgive us for our sins....." my mom prayed for like 10 minutes then we recited

the Lord's Prayer.
  "Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil."

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun"    

  I sang the last part in disgust then skipped the next line because it was nowhere near fun or exciting! 

All by myself, Don't wanna be, All by myself ; Anymore!
Hard to be sure                   
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure, remains the cure."

I turned that song off because It made me cry. I sat in my room all by myself wondering if this was ever going to pass. I know I'll be scarred for the rest of my life, but this is drowning me now.
I've been taking off work, Continuously Throwing Up ; Just doing NOTHING with my life. This has  to change. I decided to call my sister and step - brother ; but call him first because he's more  understanding. "Hello" "Hey Bro" "ay sis, how you doing? you've been m.i.a like forever" he chuckled.  "I Know, I Know. I have a lot on my plate." "well you better get full because I want to  see you ;)" 

"Well since I ruined the other say, me you and Cici can go out within the next couple

" talked to her?" he asked unknowing and scared for my sake.

"Why did you ask like that?

"Well you know, she's very upset. be she was better after talking to your best friends
but she still thinks about you everyday. and she was especially mad cause you ignored everyone's
phone calls, smh" 

"Damn! that's not good because when she gets mad, the whole world turns. lol. she'll come around, i know her!"

"Yeah but text me when you want to do this, I have to go out my  daughter in the tub then bed." 

"It's just you and her?"  

"Yeah, Lani is still on drugs so I ain't  welcome her back here. It's pretty fun just it being me and her."    

"Oh Okay, I see. Well Ima let you go. Goodnight, I Love you! and give her a kiss for me."

"Oh I will. Goodnight, Love you too!" 

"On to the Next.." I mumbled to myself. I decided to send my sister a  text first because I admit; I
was shook.

"Hey Love. I know you mad at me for a lot if things, but i'm sorry. Forgive Me Please. Love You."

Sister's P.O.V
*takes a deep breathe.* She lucky I know the Lord! I'm just gon take a moment cause I need to call her and not text.

         few moments pass...

"Ello There Stranger" I said.

"How are you?" Annie said scared for an answer.

"I'm good. but i would  have been much better knowing where you were & what you was doing!"

 "I know. i know. I said  I'm sorry. you haven't changed much since you were little; still holding grudges and shit! smh"

"So now we are popping attitudes?" 

"Man, whatever! trying to reach out to my older sis and she being  a bitch!" 

"Well if you were more responsible..." 

"You know what. i didn't think it would go this far  but when you want to act like an adult & speak to me with some respect, then call me. Goodbye!"

(back to Annie's point of view)

Love, a word that comes and goes, but few people really know what it means to really love somebody. Love, though the tears may fade away, I'm so glad your love will stay.

I sang Kirk Franklin's "Love" and was grateful that GOD loves me even i do wrong.
"The nights that i cry you love me. When i should have died you love me. I'll never know why you love me."

That song is so beautiful. I started to sing "Thank You" by Keyshia Cole while laying down getting ready to drift away.

"I love you and I'm thankful for all the things you've done for me. When no one was by my side, I thank you."

I woke up feeling good and refreshed. "Thank You Lord for letting me see another day."
I'm going to try and make the best out of today. I'm meeting my brother but I have a bad feeling about it.

I arrived at Caribou Coffee and saw my step brother and his daughter sitting at the table just as happy as can be; makes me very proud of him. I sat down and talked to them for a good 20 minutes then my sister walked in. "I Knew It!" I said lowly. 
I jumped up put my chair trying my hardest to look sincere and believable. I hugged her so tight; she couldn't
help but smile. "I Love You" I said letting go. She said it back then hugged our step brother and picked up his daughter.

"I'm glad we can put this aside and unless y'all feel some type of way, I want to look past this and not talk about it any more. We're all here, healthy and looking good. Let's stay strong for goodness sake." he said.

"I can most definitely do that" my sister said with a smile. I was shocked and thinking she must have prayed all night or something. 

"So we can get our drinks now?" My sister asked politely then she added.. "Do you still have your job?"

"Yeah I do. I told my boss what happened and he said it would be okay but I go back Wednesday."

"Cool. I'm glad you do :)"

After hours of talking and catching up, my brother decided we should go to mom and dad's house. They would be very happy if they seen us together.

"..and then we went to the park and I played with Aunt Annie. She so fun!" My niece was talking a mile a minute to my mom and dad. I was just so excited that we made up and I can look past this and whatever. I went into the guest room. What's Next? A question that's always on my mind. I'll never know because things don't ever go as planned.

"Who the fuck are you? "I can care less about any of them! i'm so tired of your shit. you doing me wrong. just give me my shit and i'm through with you! Didn't i just say i don't care? that means i don't give a FUCK! No. I'm on my way to your house to get my shit! Well it looks like you need to be on your way too. hasta pronto.." *CLICK!*

I heard my sister on the phone and I'm like, we will never be good enough to have a nice respectful man! we just get used all the time. I'm tired of this shit! I opened my door and she was walking out of the other door across the hall.

"Come here for a minute" ..I said to my sis but i knew she was already furious. i didn't ask her what was wrong cause I already knew but I knew if I didn't ask her, she would know that I already knew. "Listen. I heard you yelling, but didn't her what you were talking about. I just want you to know that were going to get through this. I think we need to get our minds off EVERYTHING! How bout we go to Costa Rica?"
"Yeah Sis I think we can do that :)" Then she took my hand and went to get her stuff from her boyfriend's house.

The drive was long and quiet. I really hope no one us go to jail today. I know my sister and if there's another girl there, that's gon be something! Just when that thought was over, we pulled up and i looked at the window and seen him kissing some girl. "Oh Shit! It's bouta go D O W N!"

......we walked in the house...

"What the Fuck is this? I know you want to move on but damn can i get a last word or something. That's real fucked up but I see the type of ass you are!"

"And you are?" the girl, rather lady said.

"Trick, don't even!! i'm his ex girlfriend since he has you now. she rolled her eyes.

"Ih okay! you don't have to fucking get smart and roll your eyes."

"I can do whatever THE FUCK I want! Fall the fuck back HOE!"

"Oh no she didn't!" she went to attack my sister but her ex held the lady back."

"Yeah Bitch I wish you wo.."

"Ladies Chill! but Violette (my sister) can you just get your stuff and leave?"

"Gladly" she said.
"Oh and Cythia? whatever your name is, we did it on the couch and on those sheets so you might want to take your stripper money and buy some new ones." she smiled at her as me and her walked out the door.

"Ole, that bitch!"

It was a very silent drive back to mom and dads house. Nothing! All this time I was thinking, "This son of a bitch." i need to get back at him without letting my sister know. She was furious. We arrived back at our mom and dads house. She got out and slammed the door. I got out too and walked into the house.

"Where y'all two go?" our mother asked.

"I went to pick up my stuff mom" Violette said with a little attitude.

"Oh Okay."


"You Alright Vi?"

"Yeah, I'm straight. Am I giving off the impression that I'm not?"

"Just a bit.""

"Well I'm fine." Violette went a placed a kiss on mother's cheek..

*Couple hours later, Violette gets a text from her ex*

you got two boxes over here. i don't know what it is , but it's heavy. i'll leave it in my basement if you want to come pick it up. ~Thomas.

...she thinks in her head like "why he sounded all nice and shit! tuhhh."

"aight i will get it tomorrow around 2." ~Violette.

"alright." ~Thomas.

"YOO ANNIE!" Violette called me as I was sitting on the porch.

"Yeah Vi? What's Up?"

"He gon text me talking bout I got stuff still at his house! tuh!"

"Lol , when you going to go get it?"

"Tomorrow around 2."

"Oh well I would go but i'll be with mom."

"Hhaha alright."

"Too Evil , Don't start no shit! ima keep blowing up ya phone too , watch!"

"Oh i won't!" *smiles*

               ..later that night..

"An , you busy?" my dad creped in my room.

"No , what's up?"

"i dunno , you tell me........... something.."  I gave him a confused look (-wtf?- the hell he want now. "Ummm I'm just chilling. Going with mom tomorrow."

"Oh my Gosh! That women won't shut up about that."

"Hahah , this should be interesting."

"Yeahh.... well the real reason I came in here is to see what's good with you. You just distance yourself and never talk to your daddy like you use to. I mean , is this still bothering you?"

"Oh no dad , i'm sorry for making you feel like that. I just needed time to think. We can actually go out tomorrow night. just me and you , at dinner" I said yawning.

"Well thanks for giving me heads up. But I'll let you sleep now. Love You , Goodnight <3"

"okay , thanks. Goodnight Daddy , I love you too <3"

> Next Day

"Get up baby girl, now!" My mom woke me. I almost forgot I had to get up.

"I'm up" ..I said stretching. I washed up and I look in the mirror thinking. My dad was right , I do look like my mom alot. "Jesh."

I gave me dad a kiss on the cheek; He was still sleep.

        -Violette text her ex-

I'm on my way. ~Violette.

aight. ~Thomas.

*His Point of View*

"Oh shit" he said loudly but didn't mean to.

"What's wrong?" 'she' asked.

"Ummm nothing."

Lying ass" ..'she' huffed.

"I'll be right back"

"where you going?"

"To the Basement."

"Oh! That hoe is on her way , huh?"

"Don't start!" he put his index finger up and made his way to the basement.

I'm outside. ~Violette.

Aight, I'm coming. ~Thomas. Few seconds he opened the door and let her in.
"So is there a reason that she's just staring at me?" Violette asked her ex in reference to the girl sitting in the living room. 

"She just TRYING to start. Don't mind her" he said.

"Oh really? don't mind me? you wasn't saying that when - .."

"Ahhh blah blahh blahh! be quiet" he told rudely.

"Whatever , but can you hurry up? I got stuff to do" 'she' said coldly to Violette.

"Well actually I coulda been left but you want to fuck with me, so what's up?"

"You know what" 'she' said getting up. " i don't know who the fu--"

"Yo chill out" Thomas said..

"no ain't gon chill out." > "like i said I don't know who the fuck you THINK you are , but let me tell you , your a jealous ass slut who who wants her ex back and you AIN'T gon get him back! so fall all the way back till you break your neck!"

*SLAP!* Violette slapped her in the face then said "nahhh. never that. It's You. You are the one who is PARANOID! YEAH PARANOID! You think that every girl that come around him is trying to take him! That's the reason your always hanging off her shoulder! Your the one who needs to get off his dick and do something with your damn self!

Thomas just stood there because he knew she was right and he still had feelings for her.

"Well thank you for letting me get my stuff" ..Violette said walking out the door..


(His. P.O.V)

"Oh really your just going to let her slap me and not do shit? What are you? Who are you? I thought it was about me and you but your really fucked up man!"

"You know what yo , you REALLYYY getting on my nerves with all this! you don't know how to shut up and mind your business." he turned and headed towards the steps.

"No please don't do that to me" 'she' said grabbing his arm.

"DON"T..." he sighed "Don't touch me! Matter of fact , you can come get YOUR stuff cause we're through!"

"Wait!!! what do you mean??"

"Ummm I'm pretty sure I was speaking ENGLISH! I'm done with you! I want you out of  my house by

tomorrow morning. Oh , and don't even THINK your getting in my bed tonight either! I'll bring down a sheet

and a pillow case!"

"oh really? and no pillow?"


'She' started thinking/shaking then crying and throwing stuff.

"Yoo you better not be breaking my stuff" ..He yelled from upstairs. "or Ima teach your ass a lesson."

He came back downstairs. "Didn't I tell you to stop throwing shit!" He walked over to her and got in her face. "Chill the fuck out before you get fucked up!"

"Get out my  face!"

"Who the hell you think you talking to? you can leave now!"


"WELL THEN YOU'LL RESPECT ME WHILE YOUR IN MY HOUSE!" She just sat there in disgust! "Is there something on my face? Like damn! Can a nigga get his face back!" 

She picked up a book and threw it at his face. 

"There's something now! I MARK!"


"I dare you to touch me!" He walked to her and was pushing her out the door. "NOOOOOO! GET OFF OF ME!" There were people outside watching. Go and find some nigga to live off of now!" He went back into this house and slammed the door.

He sat on the couch feeling guilty as hell. "How the hell could I just cheat on my girlfriend with 
some slut?" He just didn't know what to do with himself. 'I wonder if she'll give me another 
chance? 'Is she already dating someone?' 'Do she's still love me?' All these questions were 
going through his mind but he just had to know. There's only one way to find out; Call/Text her.

(Violette...can we please talk? I'm done with her. I kicked her ass out it just wasn't the same. I 
want you. Only You. Please give me another chance.)

He was sitting waiting for the text; Meanwhile, she was home just looking at the text not knowing 
what to say.

She came across and idea. She would give him another chance.

Sure we can talk. Want to meet me somewhere? ~Violette.

He sat on his couch and read the text message. All he could do was smile. This was his chance; his second chance. He knew he wanted to make it right; he loved her, he didn't want to do that to her. He never wanted to disrespect her but the fact that she's given him another chance let him know that he gotta man up.

Sure. I'll come come pick you up if that's okay? `

Ummm yeah okay. that's fine. what time? ~Violette.

Whenever your ready is cool.

Okay. Let me go get dressed and I'll call you when I'm ready. ~Violette.

Alright, Shawty.

Please don't call me that =) ~Violette.

Haha. Okay..sorry. 

It's cool. ~Violette. She smiled out of a little relieve.